Jose-Andres Alegria I never trust anyone who says that middle school was easy for them. On the contrary, it’s a time filled with awkwardness, social anxiety, and embarrassing moments that haunt us at night. There was always a pressure we put on ourselves in those awkward formative years where we thought everyone was thinking about us. Middle school is where our insecurities festered in self-doubt, and while we might have overcome most of them, there are still times as an adult when those same middle school thoughts can creep into our minds again. Not caring what other people think about you can be hard to get over, but freeing once you do.
My Anecdote
I’m not brave enough to sit here and write out some of my embarrassing middle school moments. I am not that vulnerable in my writing. But I think we all have those cringe moments in our past that, on those bad nights, keep us awake. Unless you are mentally healthy, you probably can relate, which must be nice.
But I do remember my first bad memory, and it was when I had explosive diarrhea and didn’t make it to the bathroom in time. Let’s say I was glad I was going home instead of having to experience the culling my 2nd-grade classmates would have put me through had I gone back into the classroom that day. (A zero out of ten experience. I don’t recommend pooping your pants in grade school. And I am so sorry to whatever poor soul had to clean up my mess.)
Not Caring What Other People Think About You.
Perspective
Anxiety over being liked is never a fun thing to have on the mind. It makes us feel like middle schoolers again, and no one wants to relive that time in their lives. So keep perspective. Most people are too busy mentally occupied with their insecurities and how they come across to others to care about you. So you shouldn’t care about what others think since most of the time, people aren’t negatively thinking about you.
Fend off the Negative
The human brain tends to focus on the negative at the moment, which can become habitual. Forming negative cognitive behavior such as assuming the worst can take its toll on us after a time. Question your thoughts and figure out if the negative is only in your head, usually the case. Most of the negative we view in our day-to-day lives is thanks to anxiety and overthinking. Our thoughts can jump around and make assumptions that lead us to entirely untrue conclusions based on nothing.
Confidence
Confidence is key. But it can be hard to feel confident when you’re busy talking crap about yourself in your head all day. We don’t realize how much harm self-deprecation does until someone points it out to us. But to put things into perspective. Imagine how you would feel if someone said what you say about yourself in your head. You’d probably think they are an a-hole. And when you start to treat yourself better, you might find yourself a little happier.
Confidence comes from loving yourself. So even on rough days, you gotta fake it till you make it. It’s like how Rihana responded when someone asked her what she does when she doesn’t feel confident.
“Uh…pretend. It’s either that or cry myself to sleep, and who wants to do that?”
Chasing Perfection
There is no such thing as perfection. We are all human, and with that comes flaws. The idea of being perfect also sounds incredibly boring. So what does it mean to be perfect? And in whose eyes are you trying to achieve perfection? Because the perfect person is different in everyone’s eyes. So stop trying to be perfect.
You’re going to make mistakes. Some people might not like you. But at the end of the day, you can’t please everyone and be happy with yourself, so live your life for yourself, and everything else will fall into place.
Fear
Living in fear is no fun. It’s mentally exhausting always caring what others think of you because your life is centered around pleasing others and not yourself. You can only start to love others when you love yourself. That sounds incredibly selfish, but it’s the truth. Trust me. If you have no love for yourself while trying to love and appease everyone around you, you will eventually feel empty inside.
Don’t live in fear. Fear is the mind-killer. (IYKYK). So start learning not to care what other people think about you and watch as life gets a little easier and a little happier. Take care of yourself, grow in confidence, and learn to live a life free of fear.
