Devin Dornbrock Having some doubts about your relationship is pretty normal. We all have them for one reason or another, which is why I’m going to give you some advice on relationships that last. The ones where you share a connection to last a lifetime with someone you can never forget.
1. Misunderstandings are Going to Happen
No matter how long you’ve been with someone, you’re not a mind reader. There will be times when you think you know what they’re thinking and you’ll be completely wrong. This is why it’s always important to listen to each other. Your boyfriend or girlfriend is the only one who can tell you what’s on your mind.
Don’t go around questioning everything you think you know about your significant other, of course. Just take a second to really think about their perspective from time to time. Hopefully, this will help you avoid misunderstandings in high-stress situations—the kind that might lead you to say something you’ll later regret, for example.
2. Don’t Ignore Relationship Red Flags
Relationship red flags are easy to spot when you’re not actually in the relationship. When you are, though, it gets a little harder. Loving someone makes it easier to ignore their flaws or justify bad behavior. It’s easier to tell yourself that they didn’t mean to make you feel small, and it’s easier to believe they’re saying hurtful things for your own good.
This may be the toughest piece of advice on relationships to actually follow. Whatever their circumstances or yours, nothing excuses hurting you. If they can’t take accountability for that, then they’re not the one for you. Staying in a toxic relationship doesn’t do you any good. Or your partner, for that matter. If they’re willing to work with you and get to a healthy place, that’s great. If not then it’s time to consider moving on. You can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped.
3. Keep Making Romantic Gestures
I can’t think of anyone who wouldn’t want a reminder that they are loved. In my relationship, romantic gestures from time to time have always reaffirmed my commitment to my partner. Each one feels more and more meaningful because, after all the years, it feels good to know they’re still trying to win your heart, regardless of how long ago you gave it to them.
They don’t have to be grand; they can be literally anything that will show your partner you know or care about them. That can mean a bouquet of flowers on a random Tuesday in May. Or it can be getting them a cup of coffee just the way they like it without being asked.
Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you’ve “won” them like a trophy or vice versa. Being in a relationship means choosing to be together, which makes it all the more special that you’ve chosen to be with each other. Feeling love and appreciation in gestures goes a long way toward building lasting relationships.
4. Remember Friendship and Relationships Go Hand in Hand
Here’s another piece of relationship advice—and one I’ve said a thousand times—stop dating people you hate. If you want to build a lasting relationship, it’s important that you actually enjoy spending time with them! Romance will probably not factor into most of the time you spend with your significant other, especially after a little time together. If you don’t like being around them unless romance is involved, staying together may just be torture for the both of you.
There’s a reason so many people say that they’re marrying their best friend. It’s much easier to pledge the rest of your life to someone you like. If you are going to be with one person for the rest of your life, why wouldn’t you want them to be your friend? Thinking about it like that can also help you view your relationship from a distance.
Thinking about how you would treat your partner if they were a friend may give some needed perspective from time to time.
5. Learn How to Argue in a Relationship
The key to any healthy, long-term relationship is communication. Knowing how to talk to each other even during an argument will take you far. You’ll be able to solve the problem or compromise more quickly, avoid hurting one another, and learn how to communicate with each other more effectively.
Arguments aren’t something you can completely avoid with anyone, even your boyfriend or girlfriend. Psychologists suggest that arguments can improve your relationships, so don’t try to hide or avoid them. Focus on learning the right way to argue, keep an open mind, and remind yourself that it’s not the end of the world.
Hopefully, this advice on relationships can help you with yours and maybe even help you enjoy it more.
Are there any pieces of advice you have to share?
