Sarah Pichardo When you hear the word “ghosting,” your brain probably jumps straight to dating apps—someone disappears mid-conversation or after a few dates and never explains why. But here’s the thing: ghosting isn’t limited to romantic relationships. It happens in friendships, too, and honestly, it can sting just as much.
Confession Time
I’ll admit it: I’m the worst at connecting with people. THE WORST. My mom, on the other hand, is the definition of a social butterfly. She loves reaching out, checking in, and building relationships—and people love her for it. I wish I could be more like that, but the truth is, I’m not a people person. People exhaust me. I’m an introvert through and through, and keeping in touch takes effort.
I have friends I love dearly, but sometimes I’ll text them only once every other month. Awful, right? It’s not that I don’t care—it’s that I genuinely have to work harder at staying connected.
And let’s be real: sending memes is a form of communication. I don’t care what anybody says. If I’m sending you random memes, that’s me saying, “I thought of you.” It may not be a deep conversation, but it’s still a connection.
Why We Ghost Friends
Most of the time, it’s not about malice—it’s about avoidance or overwhelm.
- Avoidance feels easier. We don’t want conflict, so silence feels safer than an uncomfortable conversation.
- Life gets busy. Work, school, mental health—sometimes friendships slip through the cracks.
- We don’t know what to say. Explaining why you need space feels harder than going quiet.
And sometimes, it’s not even intentional ghosting—it’s what researchers call friendship drift. Unlike romantic relationships, where breakups usually involve a conversation, friendships often fade passively. Both people slowly stop putting in effort, and eventually, the connection disappears. Sometimes that’s natural and mutual, but when it’s just one-sided, it can leave someone hurt and confused.
The Two-Way Street
But here’s the thing: friendship is a two-way street. If you’re always the one putting in the effort—sending the first text, making plans, checking in—and the other person never reciprocates, that’s a sign too. Healthy friendships aren’t about perfectly balanced energy all the time, but they are about mutual effort. If it feels one-sided for too long, it might be worth asking yourself if that friendship is giving you what you need.
How to Stop Ghosting (and Do Better)
If you’ve been guilty of ghosting (and let’s be real, most of us have at some point), here are some healthier alternatives:
- Send a quick text. Even “Hey, I’ve got a lot on my plate right now, but I still care about you” is better than silence.
- Be honest, gently. You don’t need a dramatic breakup if you’ve outgrown the friendship. A simple, “I don’t have the same bandwidth right now, but I value our time together,” works.
- Set boundaries. It’s okay to need space. Saying, “I’m not up for hanging out this week, but let’s catch up soon,” keeps communication open.
- Check in later. Even after a long pause, reaching back out with, “Sorry I went quiet, how are you doing?” can rebuild trust.
Final Thought
Friendships matter. They’re the people we laugh with, cry with, and send memes to at 2 a.m. Ghosting might seem easy, but honesty and effort keep relationships alive. And if you’re putting in effort while someone else isn’t, that says a lot, too.
At the end of the day, good friends are worth the work. Just don’t forget—a SpongeBob meme absolutely counts as a love language.
