Jose-Andres Alegria Some people are blessed with parents that genuinely love each other and show it every day, while others have parents that are divorced or should be.
Disney shows us prince charming swooping in and saving the princess for a happily ever after, but that’s not how life works. They don’t show the arguments, compromises, forgiveness, and work that go into a happy and healthy relationship.
Perfection isn’t healthy
No one is perfect, and beauty fades, yet that seems to be the main driving force behind dating today. I’m not saying you shouldn’t be attracted to the person, but be realistic in your expectations. You don’t expect to win the lottery, you don’t just magically get given a college degree without putting in the work, and you don’t get a perfect partner.
No one is perfect.
They might make you undeniably happy, but they can probably make you just as frustrated at times. Knowing their imperfections and accepting them is part of establishing healthy expectations. If your significant other is messy, do you really expect them to change just because you got married magically? It would be like asking someone you know who is a terrible cook to make Thanksgiving dinner and being disappointed in them because it sucks.
People don’t change overnight.
Communicate with your partner and talk about what you expect from each other in marriage; otherwise, you’ll have high expectations that can never be met.
8 realistic expectations for relationships
Commitment
This goes without saying. If you are exclusively dating someone or getting married to them, then commitment is a given. You should be committed to your relationship and to the person you care about and love.
Open and honest communication
This can be harder for some and easier for others. You need to be able to talk to your significant other about the hard and uncomfortable things without a fear that they might judge, invalidate, or leave you. It goes back to commitment. You both decided to be committed. Now it’s time to show it through open communication, even if it’s hard.
Verbal and physical affection
What is your love language? What is your significant other’s love language? Knowing and understanding what makes each other feel loved will help in the long run. You might be trying to show your affection to them but going about it the wrong way. Some people like physical touch over getting gifts, so holding hands and cuddling will go a long way over flowers and chocolates.
Compassion
Compassion sounds like a weird word in terms of a relationship, but it doesn’t mean that you have to solve problems or agree with them. What it means is just be present and give them your full attention.
Respect
This is a culmination of a few things on this list. Respecting your significant other is as simple as having open communication, active listening, and valuing each other’s feelings and needs.
Consideration for your differences
You’re together, but you’re not the same person. You don’t have to agree on every little thing, but you shouldn’t be mean and condescending about your differences. It goes back to respecting them.
Date night
Make time for each other. Life can get hectic, but if you don’t make time to spend with each other away from phones, tv shows, and the chaos of life, then you can start to drift. Quality time can be the make or break of any relationship.
Showing interest in what the other is passionate about
Everyone has things they like, whether it’s reading, video games, sports, or anything else. You don’t have to love it as much as they do but put a little effort into it. Showing interest in what they are passionate about will show them that you care.
Having expectations is a great thing in a relationship as long as you communicate with your significant other what those expectations are. But managing those expectations is also important.
No one is perfect.
If you expect perfection, you are setting your partner up for failure and yourself up for disappointment. Just talk to your significant other about what you want from your relationship and continue communicating while sticking to realistic expectations. Hopefully, it all works out.
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