Devin Dornbrock While November and December can be the most wonderful time of the year for some, for others, it can be the season they dread most. Stress and anxiety ramp up as you figure out who to get gifts for, how to stay on budget while out shopping, and how to button things up at work or school to get ready for the new year. Stress isn’t the only thing that can make things hard. Getting through the holiday blues can also be tough.
Signs You’re Feeling the Holiday Blues
Even if you’re getting a break from normal life with a holiday vacation, that doesn’t mean your mental health is too. You may be feeling the holiday blues without even knowing. Here are some signs to be on the lookout for:
- Irritability or repeated mood swings
- Fatigue
- Changes in sleep patterns
- Feelings of hopelessness or guilt
- Self-destructive thoughts
- Anxiety
- Lack of interest in things you used to love
- Feelings of loneliness
- Increased sense of loss
A lot of things can cause holiday depression, including being forced to spend time with family you have tense relationships with, being unable to spend time with people you cherish, financial stress, or anxiety about giving or receiving gifts. There are many other reasons that can all factor into making the season fill you with dread rather than joy.
The Biggest Reasons You May Be Feeling the Holiday Blues
There are many reasons you may be feeling down and depressed around. Your exact reasons will be unique to you, but a couple tends to affect us more than we think at times.
The Holidays Have a Lot of Memories
Regardless of what you celebrate, most people can agree that there are a lot of special memories around the end of the year. Everyone around you gets excited about the prospect of some much-needed time off and spending quality time with friends and family, which can be hard if your loved ones aren’t around.
As the New Year approaches, it’s easy to feel nostalgic and reflect on previous years. Many of us reflect on our lives around this time of year. Usually, it’s the broad strokes—relationships that became stronger or accomplishments that seemed impossible. Sometimes, though, the things we’ve lost stick out the most.
It’s hard to avoid feeling the pain from those losses when everyone and everything around you is trying to remind you to spend time with the people you love. Even when you haven’t lost anything per se, it can still be easy to feel depressed and anxious if you aren’t exactly where you want to be in life.
Remembering the past usually also means reflecting on the present. And the older you get, the harder it can be to find happiness in that present moment.
The Holidays are Expensive
A lot of people travel around the holidays. Whether they’re on a fancy getaway or heading back to Mom and Dad’s, it’s usually not very cheap. One survey found that about half of all people in the US travel for the holidays, and the average bill is around $1,947. Many of us don’t have two thousand dollars just lying around, and that’s before even talking about gift-giving.
Even if you manage to scrounge up that money, it can take months for your bank account to recover. Knowing all that can be daunting, especially when many of us are already struggling just to buy groceries.
Financial strain is a major cause of the holiday blues, and it’s no wonder. It’s hard to feel the warm fuzzies of the season or enjoy the sparkling lights when you’re trying not to think about whether you should pay your water or internet bill next month.
How to Bring the Magic Back
Unfortunately, no magic cure can instantly make you feel better. If you’re suffering from holiday depression, the best way to cope is to reach out to the people around you. I’m not saying go trauma dump on anyone; that usually isn’t going to help much anyway.
What you should do is examine the parts of your life that are hitting you the hardest and talk about it with the people who support you.
If you’re missing someone like a loved one who has passed away, honor them by sharing memories about them with others. Doing some sort of activity that makes you feel close to them can also be therapeutic. Maybe that means baking their favorite cookies or watching a special movie. It might hurt, but it can also feel cathartic and help you keep your memory alive.
For those of us stressed out financially by the season, suggest to your family and/ or friends that you all do a gift exchange rather than getting presents for everyone. Something like a White Elephant or Secret Santa can be an excellent way to change things up. You’ll only need to worry about a single present instead of a dozen or more, and it can be a really fun tradition to start. You might even be surprised by how many people will be ecstatic to join in and cut down on their own seasonal financial burdens.
Giving back is another way to help bring some cheer into your holidays. Donating or volunteering may not wash away all the sadness you’re feeling, but it will certainly bring a smile to someone’s face. It can also help you feel connected to others in a new way and ease feelings of loneliness or isolation.
You Are Not Alone
If the feelings of depression and anxiety linger or tend to always pop up around the same time of year, it’s also possible what you’re feeling is more than just holiday blues. It may be worth speaking with a mental health professional or reading up on SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder).
The worst part about getting through the holiday blues is feeling like you have to face it on your own. I promise you don’t have to, though. Even if you can’t physically be with the people you love, you can still find a way to enjoy the holidays and find comfort before the new year.
