Devin Dornbrock Overthinking can sneak up on you fast. One second you’re replaying a conversation in your head, and the next you’re spiraling through every mistake you’ve made since middle school. It’s exhausting and unproductive.
The good news is there are ways to stop overthinking and finally chill. If your brain feels like it’s stuck in overdrive, here are a few strategies that can help quiet the noise:
1. Identify the Root Cause and Name It
Names have power. Which may sound like something out of a Tolkien novel, but that doesn’t make it untrue. Putting a name to whatever is causing you to spiral into overthinking can help make it feel smaller and a little more manageable.
If you’re having a hard time naming the cause of your overthinking on your own, try the “Name It to Tame It” technique. Developed by Dr. Daniel Siegel from the Mindful Awareness Center at UCLA, the four-step technique focuses on breathing and emotional reflection after stressful events.
2. Write Your Thoughts Down
What your thoughts are doesn’t matter. Put pen to paper and write them down. You can type them out on your phone, too, but you may see more benefit from physically writing them down.
Physically writing down your thoughts has several benefits. Putting your thoughts and emotions into words takes naming them a step further. Now that they have a name, you’re giving them a form. The act of writing your thoughts down also forces your brain to focus more on what you’re doing, taking up brainpower that might otherwise continue feeding an emotional spiral.
Writing down your thoughts, especially if your overthinking is chronic, can also help you notice patterns or look at things a little more objectively with fresh eyes later on.
3. Shift Focus With Movement
Focusing on physical movement doesn’t have to be limited to writing your thoughts down. If writing isn’t your thing (or just wasn’t enough), you can also get up and take a walk or tackle a less stressful task. The idea is to force your brain to tune into something that requires your attention but doesn’t trigger complex thoughts or emotions.
Many college students and young adults have discovered “stress cleaning” or even “stress baking.” When life, work, or school gets too overwhelming, it feels good to focus on something small and achievable. Moving your body helps pull more energy and focus away from overwhelming thoughts and forces you to get out of your own head.
Personally, I fold laundry or do the dishes when I need to stop overthinking and finally chill. Doing something I’ve been putting off relieves the stress of having it hang over my head while also forcing me to pay attention to things that are in my control rather than the things that aren’t.
4. Practice the 5-5-5 Rule
In the moment, when you’re overthinking every little thing, it can be hard to achieve true perspective. That doesn’t mean you can’t try, though. Start by asking yourself if your concerns are going to matter in five days. What about five months? Or five years? Most of the time, probably not.
Admitting to yourself that some thoughts aren’t going to matter in a few days, let alone a few years, can make them feel a lot smaller. Small thoughts are easier to let go of and move on from.
5. Challenge the Thoughts
I’m not sure about you, but when I overthink, I very easily find myself down a rabbit hole. One thing leads to another, and what started as mild concern over a friend being late to grab coffee somehow manages to turn into real fear that something horrible happened to them. Don’t do that to yourself if you can help it.
Before mild concerns can snowball, think about why you’re thinking what you’re thinking. Is it because you actually believe those thoughts? Or is it because you’re jumping to conclusions while dealing with a lot of stress that has nowhere to go?
Stress with nowhere to go will find a way to express itself. It doesn’t just disappear, whether that’s through jumping to wild conclusions or contributing to deteriorating mental health.
6. Shoot Your Shot
Most of us are guilty of assuming we’ll fail before we even try—and then using that as an excuse for why we shouldn’t try in the first place. There’s a reason the phrase “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take” is so well known, though. Even if there’s only a 1% chance of success, you can’t succeed if you never give yourself the chance to try.
It’s easier said than done, of course, but you don’t have to be your own roadblock. That’s why one of the best ways to stop overthinking is to go for opportunities. If you can get into the habit of just going for it before you start overthinking, it will get easier with time.
Rather than getting caught up in all the reasons you might fail, it’s okay to let yourself believe in the reasons you might not.
7. More Overthinking Isn’t the Answer
When you’re stuck in a spiral of overthinking, very rarely will you be able to break out of it by overthinking even more. Problems don’t go away by thinking about them endlessly. Emotions don’t go away by thinking about them endlessly. Pain doesn’t go away by thinking about it endlessly.
Give yourself some space and time. Let your mind wander to other things for a while if you can, or find something that will help calm your mental state. The important things aren’t going anywhere, and it’s easier to avoid becoming overwhelmed when you allow yourself to take some breaks.
8. Learn to Accept and Let Go
Unfortunately, there’s a lot of stuff outside of our control. And the things outside of our control are also some of the biggest reasons we get stuck in a loop of overthinking.
Learning to accept the things that are outside of our control and let them go isn’t easy. It takes time, and it’s going to be a process. If you can learn to accept that there’s nothing you can do and then let it go, though, you’ll free yourself from a lot of unnecessary stress.
If you need some help, remind yourself that you’ve done all you can and turn your attention toward other things that are within your power.
9. Be Kind to Yourself
We all overthink, especially when we’re taking on new responsibilities we’ve never had to shoulder before. It’s easy to get stuck in a loop and second-guess everything.
Give yourself some grace and the time to figure things out. It’s not the end of the world if you take a step back or make the wrong decision. All you can do is adapt and learn for next time.
Hopefully, one of these ways to stop overthinking will help. If not, it’s okay to keep looking and trying to find what works for you.
You’re only human, just like everyone else.
