Devin Dornbrock In a serious relationship, you’re going to have a lot of serious conversations. It’s inevitable you’ll face some conflict together or even get into a huge fight. As much as you love someone it’s simply not possible to never fight when you’re in a relationship. And with those conflicts and fights comes a boat load of stress. Sometimes that stress is nobody’s fault and sometimes it’ll be yours or theirs or you’ll face an impossible situation. No matter the cause of it though, it’s important to know how to take care of yourself in the aftermath. So let’s talk self-care that actually helps with emotional recovery after relationship stress.
1. Give Yourself Some Time Apart
If you’ve had a tense moment with your significant other, it can sting a lot to hear that they want time apart. It’s perfectly healthy to have alone time while you sort out your thoughts and process emotionally. In fact it’s an important part of self-care to let yourself have that time too.
Depending on the gravity of the situation, you may need more time or less to get your thoughts together. Just try not to take too much time apart. The goal is to mentally get a break and have some time to check in with yourself. The goal is not to start avoiding each other or take a “break” from the relationship.
Even when you love someone it’s tough to feel uncertain or vulnerable in front of them and when you’re stressed out it can be way too easy to have knee-jerk reactions that you’ll come to regret. Letting yourself have the space to sort things out is the best form of self-care you can practice.
2. Don’t Leave Things Unsaid
When you’re having an emotionally wrought conversation with your partner, it can be easy or tempting to bite your tongue just to keep the peace. Or maybe you just don’t feel ready to have certain conversations yet. Which both make sense but what you don’t want to do is stuff down your own emotions.
Now, I’m not telling you that you have to spill your guts and say everything that crosses your mind. What I am saying is that if something has been bothering you, you should do what you can to say your piece. From personal experience, it only feels more stressful to hold back when you’re struggling.
You don’t need to hash everything out immediately but it’s easy to quash your own feelings out of consideration for your partner. Which is not something you want to be doing long term. At least getting it off your chest means your partner is aware that it’s something to be addressed at some point. Even if that point isn’t today.
Don’t burden yourself unnecessarily, it’s going to make emotional recovery after relationship stress way harder. You’ll either regret not saying something sooner or you’ll feel resentful when whatever is bothering you continues being an issue.
3. Take a Moment to Relax
It’s so important to let yourself unwind after a stressful situation with your significant other. No matter what was going on or where you left things with them, you won’t solve anything by staying wound up.
You can put on a comforting movie, pull out a book, or pick one of your favorite activities. Give yourself some time to just enjoy something and let your mind focus on something else for a while. Stress of any kind can put our bodies into Fight or Flight mode which does not usually make for the best mindset to make rational, well thought out decisions. So put things on hold for a second and focus on yourself.
When you don’t let yourself have time to process, relax, and gather yourself it’s easy to make bad choices. Like breaking up in the heat of the moment and coming to regret it almost immediately.
One survey found over 70% of men regretted dumping a partner within 2 months of the breakup. Don’t be like them. Focusing on emotional recovery after relationship stress not only makes things easier to tackle as a team with your partner later on, it also prevents you from doing something stupid.
It’s Okay to Focus on You
Relationships are a two-way street. Which means both parties matter equally. Relationships are partnerships between two people who should cherish one another. A healthy relationship needs to prioritize your mental health as well as theirs, so don’t feel guilty for taking a moment to collect yourself and unwind from the stress that can come with relationships.
Your emotional recovery after relationship stress can help you find the right perspective to address the root of the stress. It can make your relationship stronger too, as you and your partner learn how to have hard conversations together. You’ll also learn how to practice better self-care after other stressful situations and maybe even gain some emotional maturity as you understand yourself a little bit better.
At the end of the day, if you remember nothing else at least remember this: the best way to support your emotional recovery after relationship stress is to give yourself three things. Give yourself time, give yourself space, and give yourself grace.
