Devin Dornbrock It can be awkward getting to know someone you just started dating. Whether or not you’ve known them for a while, it can help to have a little bit of help to guide your conversations, which is why I’ve got a list of some of the best questions to ask in a new relationship. These questions are meant to help deepen your understanding of your partner and help you share your points of view on love, life, and everything in between.
1. How do you define monogamy?
It’s not the most fun question to start off with, but it does help you and your new partner make sure you’re on the same page regarding what constitutes cheating. It may also help you gauge how they feel about being exclusive.
2. In a perfect world, what would you want to do with your life?
This is a great question to ask when you’re getting to know someone (and even when you’ve known someone well for a long time, too!). It opens the door for you to talk about your passions and can help you learn about what matters most to your partner.
3. Who was your first crush?
Assuming you don’t already know, asking your partner about their first crush is a light way to get to know their romantic history and get them to talk about their childhood/ teenage years.
4. What qualities do you look for in a partner?
It may seem strange to ask them what they’re looking for after you start dating, but it’s important to level with them. Nobody should try to change themselves to fit their significant other’s wants or expectations. It’s important to be yourself.
5. What is your love language?
Knowing your partner’s love language will help out a lot when trying to figure out what sort of gifts to get them and what you can do to help them when they’re feeling down, and it helps start the relationship off on the right foot with open communication.
6. Who would you say had the biggest influence on your childhood self?
Getting to know the people who have meant the most to your partner is a completely underrated act of intimacy. Knowing that their late grandparents took care of them every day after school or that they had a particularly beloved kindergarten teacher can do a lot to make you feel closer to them.
7. How can I help you feel most comfortable expressing your wants?
When you like someone, speaking up about something you think may contradict what they want is hard. Even if it doesn’t contradict what they want, it can still be nerve-wracking to express yourself. Knowing how to make each other more comfortable is a great way to get more comfortable with each other.
8. Are you a dog person or a cat person?
This is the most important question on our list here. Dog or cat person doesn’t really matter that much, but if they say they straight up don’t like one or the other or even that they don’t like animals in general, it’s best to just cut your losses immediately. After all, what kind of psychopath doesn’t like animals? (I am, of course, kidding.)
9. Is there a particularly memorable piece of advice that has stuck with you?
Sometimes, a random bit of advice can really stick with you for a long time. Sometimes, that advice can help you when faced with tough choices or even subconsciously guide your daily decisions. And sometimes not. Either way, it can be an interesting conversation.
10. Are there any habits from past relationships you’re trying to change?
Depending on your and their past relationship experiences, there may not be any past relationships. Or there could be several. In any case, it can be helpful to get a little introspective with each other, especially if someone has gone through a bad breakup and wants to avoid repeating past mistakes.
11. Can you describe your perfect day?
Ignoring all costs, what would you do if you had 24 hours to do anything? This is another question that can help you learn about what your new partner is most passionate about. Or it can give you some ideas for a special date sometime down the line.
12. Which gift have you gotten meant the most to you?
Sometimes, it can be the little things that are most memorable—an act of kindness that sticks with you over a grandiose gesture. This question is most meaningful when you follow it up with asking why that gift meant the most.
13. What was your parents’ relationship like?
Children imitate their parents. Even if they don’t have the best relationship with their parents, hearing your partner describe how their parents interacted can also help you better understand how they may act in your relationship. Heavy emphasis on may. Not everyone is doomed to make the same mistakes their parents did. And sometimes, we even make new mistakes all on our own.
If you’re looking for even more questions to ask your new significant other (or even your friends), check out these 36 questions to increase closeness between people! After starting a new relationship, it’s important to get to know your partner, but it’s also important to maintain your friendships.
What other questions do you think are the best to ask in a new relationship?
